Anyone who has ever been married to (or dated) more than one person understands just how different relationships can be. Even though you’re the same person, being with someone A vs. someone B completely changes the dynamic of the situation. Even when having a “type,” it’s impossible to completely recreate the bond you had with one with a former flame. Because of personality types, hobbies, personal reactions, etc., the combination will always create something unique. Consider it similar to that of comparing apples and oranges.
Additional changes, such as age, maturity levels, wants or needs at the time can add to even more differences. And in this light, it’s very possible that the same two people can’t (or won’t) have the same relationship over time. Not only will they grow separately, but together in areas of closeness, what they expect from one another, and more. People are complicated creatures, and rather than trying to force their actions into categories, it’s important to explore the complexities and work toward achievable goals. Especially in communication and personal growth.
What it Means
When entering a new relationship or working to repair a current one, remember that each combination of personalities is unique. What might have worked (or not worked) previously can be adjusted for later on. Additionally, relationships are a constant work in progress. They should always be worked upon in order to better improve the quality of each couple’s wants and needs.
This can also be said for friendships and family members, all of which should receive ample amount of attention to create the best level of communication possible. No matter the individual circumstances.
Keep these differences in mind for everyday life, as well as when heading into your next counseling session.